“I want to die” the line from a rock song So emphatically reverberating inside my head Are these my words? Or those of the unseen lyricist? The writer who drives fantasies in songs The one who reflects my thoughts Until I believe it is my thoughts The rest of the song pleads salvation But I only hear one phrase So emphatically reverberating inside my head “I want to die” the line from a rock song I do Death - Its peace would be the salvation Escaping life’s demons Those Voices which drive me upward Or drive me downward On their whim do I live But my constant is “I want to die” the line from a rock song So emphatically reverberating inside my head The girl’s voice screams at me The image of her falling from a windowsill Into a void of night sky It appears comforting to me To be held in the air Wind rippling through my long flowing hair The speed of acceleration caressing my skin The end would be quick, sudden and unseen My Mind obliterated in a single smash No impairment and gradual dessication Gone Void In a split second, peace My cold, final, calculated revenge on the Voices? Sadly, I know this is not that easy They’d jump ship mid fall Or divide into millions in the concrete splatterings of my brain Flying to infect another poor soul, or souls, in a womb, or wombs, somewhere Then their insidious whisperings will start again Clinging to despairing neurones Until more overdosers, jumpers, or starvers multiply their kind again The Voices are entities bent on destruction But not my destruction I’m out-witting them day by day I’m staying alive against the odds No matter what they say I’m staying here Yes, this is the ultimate revenge on them I shall take them with me Creeping insanity will eventually disintegrate into dementia Then the tables will be turned Then they’ll be trapped inside a rotting brain Where starved of my imagination they’ll cease to be. Until then I put away sharp edges Hide the drink And monitor the prescriptions Until then I dare not breathe Nor think Too loudly Unless they guess the plan